Do I dare say? Thank God it's Sunday???

Hell, I just did! Must be the cold medicine that I was forced to DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO TARGET FOR....yesterday..... and today! :-) Woohoo! Feelin much better! And I owe it all to Target AND Visa! Woohoo!!!!!!! 

Friday totally kicked my A**! Saturday wasn't much better but like I realized in talking to my parents, the only thing for me to do when I get sick is to sleep! I have since childhood and that's how my mom knew I was never faking it. I actually thought my mom was going to volunteer to fly up to take care of me...then Oliver woke me up to go outside! Or to see if I was breathing.... I forget which, but I guess it was all a dream! Or was it....mom coming was anyway :-( 

Feeling MUCH better today. Actually felt better once I got out and got to Target - yes, subconsciously or whatever you want to call it, just pulling into that big parking lot with the bulls eye high in the sky, I knew relief was just a cart and a few aisles away. 

Of course, then I needed this and that and one of these things and being that I was in such a hurry to get Advil and Tylenol, I of course forgot the heating pad so where did I find myself today? Yup, I know I'm on the mend when I'm taking cold medicine to make me coherent enough to get to Target and back!!!!!!! 

So that was the extent of my "weekend", two trips to Target, had to stop into Home Depot being that it's right next door and I needed some potting soil - like that couldn't wait.... does anyone think I got to those plants yesterday or today - I think not. But boy it sure felt good getting something accomplished....I mean stimulating that economy. 

Did we go there today or yesterday??? Who cares, like I said, "Thank God it's Sunday, and I'm not even religious." 

So much for my canine bedside nurse! 

Let me review with you Oliver's version of bedside care: 

1. Let's LAY on the patient's chest so it improves breathing! (not!) 

2. Let's lean in REALLY close and start licking patient's face IF breathing. Yup! He's breathing alright. Licky! Licky Licky! "Just checking patient. You're always asleep so how was I to know?"

3. To ensure that patient is not resting too much, let's push "rat" or "guinea" in his face. He should be up exercising, (aka playing with me!) not all of this sleeping! Please! Sleep is for the weak! (Thank you Nurse Oliver! Sleep is just what "I" had ordered!) 

4. In the midst of all of this "medicinal sleepage" Oliver decides that he now thinks he has to relieve himself and if patient doesn't want him to do so in condo - HE better get patient up....NOW! 

So, what better way to let him know than to walk all over patient's head! then jump down off of resting bed and shout to him! In the highest, most piercing emergency bark possible. 

Oh, good the patient gets up, gets dressed, takes Oliver outside thinking that Oliver really has to go....

at least he PIDDLED outside! Not peed, not tapped a kidney or experienced a laborious bowel movement..... nope, JUST PIDDLED! 

At least Oliver knows how to get patient out of bed next time! You never know when it's going to mean something and Oliver would HATE to ruin patient's hardwood floors with urine SO patient knows that he HAS to listen to Oliver's bathroom pleas......see, being a bedside care giving nurse isn't all that hard after all. If Oliver can do it, so can any of you pets :-) 

Let me know when you're ill, I'll gladly volunteer Oliver's services. 

Did I mention that Nurse Oliver 

5. doesn't allow phone usage in bed either? 

Nope, crawls right up in my face, stands, stretches on my chest, licks my face and as soon as I start to converse, tries to give me mouth to mouth. "Not in this care giving facility Mr Patient and Hell no, not on my dime! You don't want to exercise with "rat" or "guinea" when "I" offered, there will be NO phone then while you're sick either! Two can play this game!" 

Then there's 

6. computer time - not as bad as phone time but let me tell you, he know how to push all the wrong buttons and does. Just walks across the keyboard, or plops right down it, why not, it's warm? 

Luckily, for me, I'm felling somewhat better and I've relieved him of his duties as of this evening. 

He's now sleeping off the hard weekend's work on the pillow next to me. 

After I washed all of the sheets, aired this germ infested residence out and cleaned up...some. I was weak, sweating and in need of a diet coke! Did Oliver go get me one? I don't think so. But when I realized I HAD to go to Target to replenish, did I take Nurse Oliver with me? Hell no :-) I ran for it, and he knew it. 

It was a like a nine alarm when I got off of the elevator when I returned. 

You'd think someone was HURTING a dog in the condo or even worse....nope, just Oliver gathering up the neighbors outside of my condo, gettin' everyone wondering what was going on being that they all knew I was sick to begin with, all weekend and sure as crap, if little Nurse Oliver didn't rouse the troops! For what? just to make sure someone would hear him should SOMETHING happen, I'm sure! That and to let me know that I wont be making a run for it again without taking his canine butt with me and I know that NOW!! .....god love the little revenge artist!  

Did I mention, Thank God it's Sunday? I GET to go back to work tomorrow! 

Chew on that one  Nurse Oliver :-) 

P.S.

 There's still a lot brewin, just a little slower. Didn't get to any of that being that my mind couldn't go anywhere but to sleep. Stay tuned though. You'll see. :-) 

P.S.S.

We had the "Last Supper" for the Good Life on Saturday eve too. Talk about a wrist splitter. I mean, nothing against the gesture of the dinner and Anne's Dad and Stepmom picking up the tab for it - the whole staff....but Anne's dad started it with his "toast" and being that I had done nothing but lye in bed all - ooooohhhh wait, I made it to Target yesterday! That's right! I DID DO something productive! - day and think about the POSSIBILITY of preparing something eloquent to say of course. So after he spoke, everyone got to dry their eyes, I of course, as the BEST MAID/MAN of HONOR EVER and carry the certificate with me at all times! - just simply had to stand to say a few words, which made me cry and then everyone else cry and thank god dinner came right after that! Cry, cry, eat, let's do this one more time! Thank god my cold meds starting wearing off and I had to leave...honestly. I guess another round ensued and that's when Jodi and Deb couldn't take anymore and had to leave too. Really, it's ok. Anne is at a good place with this, we all are. It's not the END of something, well, technically yes it is but she's looking FORWARD to her new beginning and with that each of us have a new beginning ahead of us as well. So anyway, just had to throw that A.D.D. moment in there. It's not a "Ken Writing" without them. 

NOW, I'm done! For today. 

Really, 

THE END! (for Today) 

How do you win getting the last word in when it's just you writing? Who wins? Who gets the last word?! Dang it! 

The End!